जिस दिन मैंने दुनिया में, लॉग इन किया !

जिस दिन मैंने दुनिया में, लॉग इन किया !
सारा मोहल्ला खुशियों से रंगीन किया !!
:
स्कूल में मेरी, होती थी अक्सर पिटायी !
मैं 2G था, और मैडम थी Wi-Fi !!
:
उस पर मेरा, सॉफ्टवेयर बडा पुराना था !
ट्यूब लाईट था मैं, जब CFL का जमाना था !!
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गणित में तो, मैं बचपन से ही फ़्लॉप था !
भेजे का पासवर्ड, बड़े दिनों तक लॉक था !!
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जब जब स्कूल जाने में, मैं लेट हुआ !
प्रिंसपल की डाँट से, सॉफ़्टवेयर अपडेट हुआ !!
:
हाईस्कूल में, ईश्क का वायरस घुस बैठा !
भेजे में सुरक्षित, सारा डाटा ,समाप्त करबैठा !!
:
नजरों से नजरें टकरायी, 10th क्लास में !
मैसेज आया, मेरे दिल के इनबॉक्स में !!
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जब जब मैंने, आगे बढकर पोक किया !
धीरे से उसने, नजरें झुकाकर रोक लिया !!
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कॉलेज में देखा किसी गैर के साथ, तो मन बैठा !
ईश्क का वायरस, एंटीवायरस बन बैठा !!
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वो रियल थी, लेकिन फ़ेक आईडी सी लगनेलगी !
बातों से अपनी, मेरे यारों को भी ठगने लगी !!
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आयी वो वापस, दिल पे मेरे नॉक किया !
लेकिन फ़िर मैंने, खुद ही उसको ब्लॉक किया !!
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मेरे जीवन में, अब प्यार के लिए स्पेस नहीं !
मैं "रक्षित" हूँ पगली, मजनू का अवशेष नहीं !!
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कॉलेज से निकला, दुनियादारी सीखने लगा !
बना मैं शायर, देशप्रेम पर लिखने लगा !!
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डरता है दिल, जिंदगी मेरी ना वेस्ट हो !
जो कुछ लिखूँ, सदियों तक कॉपी पेस्ट हो

Pappu Aur Paheli

Pappu Aur Paheli

Ek School Mein Madam Ne Bachchon Se Kaha: Aaj Kuch Mazedaar Paheliyan Puchti Hun, Jara Sochkar Jawab Dena. Bachche: Ji Madam. Madam: Aisa Kaun Sa Paan Hai Jisko Khaya Nahin Jaa Sakta? Saaal Sunte Hi Pappu Zor-Zor Se Hasne Laga... Yahan Tak Ki Haste Haste Neeche Bhi Gir Gaya. Madam: Kya Hua Pappu? Itni Hasi Kyun Aa Rahi Hai?? Pappu: Kya Madam, Aap Bhi Na Kaise Kaise Sawaaal Karti Hain? Iska Jawab Hai 'Stanpan'. Madam: Nalayak, Gadhe... Iska Jawaab Hai Japan... Jab Dekho Ulti-Seedhi Baatein Sochte Rehte Ho, Nikal Jao Meri Class Se....

Naughty Pappu

Naughty Pappu

Pappu Phone Pe: Ye Kaha Ka Number Hai ? Constable: Police Station. Pappu: Haath Mein Kya Hai? Constable: Danda Hai, Kyun? Pappu: Apne Peeche Le Lo Isko... Ye Keh Ke Pappu Ne Phone Kaat Diya. Constable Ne Number Nikaal Ke Usi Number Pe Phone Kia Toh Pappu Ki Maa Ne Phone Uthaya. Constable: Yaha Se Kisi Bachche Ne Phone Kiya Aur Kaha Ke Danda Apne Pichwaade Mein Daal Lo. Maa: Kitni Der Pehle? Constable: 10 Minute Huye. Maa: Ohh... Sorry... Kaafi Der Ho Gayi, Nikaal Lo... Aap Bhi Kahan Bachche Ki Baaton Mein Aa Gaye... ??????

Most Versatile Gaali

Most Versatile Gaali

Enjoy India's most versatile sound. 'Bhenchod' in 9 different moods: ANGER: Hatt bhenchod! FRUSTRATION: Sab Chutiye Hain Bhenchod... ACCEPTANCE: Sahi Hai Bhenchod... REJECTION: Gaand Mara Bhenchod... FEAR: Bhenchod, Ab Kya Hoga... SORROW: Bhenchod Maa Bhen ek Ho Gayi... SHOCK: O... Bhennnn... Chhodd...! AUTHORITY: Bhenchod Ko Kah De Ki Maine Bola Hai... And the last and the best one CELEBRATION: Nacho Bhenchod.

Who Do You Love More ?

Who Do You Love More ?

Girl: Kya Tum Mujhe Apni Family Se Zyada Chahte Ho??? Boy: No. Girl: Kyun...? Boy: Jab Main Paida Hua Toh Meri Maa Ne Musibat Jheli. Jab Bada Hone Laga Toh Baap Ne Ungli Pakad Kar Chalna Sikhaya. Jab Taklif Hui Toh Behan Royi. Jab Zarurat Padi Toh Bhai Ne Saath Diya. Girl: Achha Gandu... Jab Lund Khada Hua Toh Kaun Kaam Aaya...??? Boy: Mera Dost, Jo Ye Joke Pad Raha Hai. Jisne Mujhe Hilaana Sikhaya....

International Yoga day!

International Yoga day!

Two women were talking to each other.. "Kal mera first time tha.." Oh really. kya hua..?" Beginning me dheere dheere andar liya aur dheere se bahar nikaala.. Dheere se kyu..? Unhone bataya tha pehle dheere dheere karna hai.. Ok fir..? Pehle 10 minute tak aise hi kiya. Badi mushkil hui control karne me.. Uske baad..? Fir thoda tezi se liya.. fir aur tez.. fir aur tez.. Hmmmmmm fir..? Fir jhatke se andar leti gai aur jhatke se bahar nikalti gai.. Oh my God.. Saare room me Aawaaz goonjne lagi.. Kafi der tak kiya.. tezi se lete aur bahar nikaalte hue dard shuru ho gaya tha.. Aage bata.. Bas yaar Ramdev Baba ne kaha aise hi "PRANAYAAM" me Breathing control karo.. Anand Aayega... Happy International Yoga day!

best sex jokes

The best example of 'Doosro ki khushi me apni khushi dhoondhna.'
Watching Porn.

What do you call a situation when two people are thinking of sex and rest of the people are thinking about food?
Wedding!!!

The 'Smoking Kills' warning on cigarette packs is like girls saying, 'Rehne Do, Koi Dekh Lega' - nothing more than a ritual!

A bad football team is like an old bra... no cups and little support!

A woman without curves is like a Jeans without pockets;
You don't know where to put your hands!

Behind a perfect cleavage, there is a woman who spent 1 hour pulling, squeezing and adjusting.
Always respect her by staring at it!

Obscene caller: Hi baby, if you can guess what's in my hand I will let you have it.
Lady: Listen, if you can hide it in one hand then I am not interested!

World's most romantic line ever said by a girl to her boyfriend:
.
..
...
....
Achha Baba... Kar Lo!

What is 'Masturbation'.
That 'shot in the air' to check if the 'gun' is working....... !

Night Charges

Night Charges

Ek Party Mein Ek Aadmi Ek Ladki Se Thodi Si Jaan Pehchaan Badhata Hai Aur Usko Akele Room Mein Le Jaata Hai. Aadmi: Suno... Main Tumhare Saath Koi Zabardasti Nahin Karunga, Lekin Agar Tum Apna Ye Top Utaar Do Toh Main Tumhein 2000 Rs De Sakta Hoon. Ladki Ne 2000 Lekar Apna Top Utaar Diya. Aadmi : Waah? Ab Tum Apni Ye Bra Bhi Utaar Do Toh Main Tumhein 2000 Rs Aur De Sakta Hoon. Ladki Ne 2000 Lekar Bra Bhi Utaar Di. Aadmi: Wah... Great... Ab Agar Tum Apni Ye Skirt-Panty Bhi Utaar Do Toh Main Tumhein 5000 Rs Aur De Sakta Hoon. Ladki Ne 5000 Rs Lekar Wo Bhi Kar diya. Aadmi: Nice... Bahut Achche... Waise Toh Main Kaafi Shareef Aadmi Hoon... Magar Ab Mera Khada Ho Gaya Hhai. Ek Baar Sex Karne Ke Kitne Paise Logi ? Ladki : Wohi... Jo Sabse Leti Hoon. 300 Rs.

A Bihari Couple on Honeymoon

A Bihari Couple on Honeymoon

Ek Bihari Honeymoon Pe Ja Raha Tha, Train Khali Thi, Samne 1 Angrez Aa Ke Baith Gaya. Angrej Ko Dekh Ke Us Bihari Ke Khurapaati Dimaag Mein 1 Khyaal Aaya... Vo Sochne Laga Ki Agar Ye Angrej Meri Biwi Ki Le Le Toh Jo Bachcha Hoga Vo Saare Gaon Mein Sabse Gora Hoga... Aur Apna Naam Ho Jayega. Usne Angrez Ko Kisi Tarah Se Apni Nayi Naweli Dulhan Ke Saath Sex Karne Ke Liye Raazi Kar Liya. Bihari Pehra Dene Laga. Angrez Bhi Tharki Type Ka Tha... Usne Bihari Ki Biwi Ke Saath Jamkar Sex Kiya Aur Phir Jaaka Apni Seat Pe Baith Gaya. Lekin Tabhi Bihari Ne Socha Ki Agar Ek Baar Mein Connection Na Hua Toh Izzat Bhi Gayi Aur Gora Bachha Bhi Nahi Hoga. Yehi Sochkar Usne Angrez Ko Phir Se Sex Karne Ke Liye Kaha. Angrej Phir Se Maan Gaya. Is Baar Bhi Angrej Ne Kaafi Der Tak Maje Kiye, Aur Phir Apne Seat Pe Baith Gaya. But Is Baar Bhi Bechaare Bihari Ko Wahi Tension Khaye Jaa Rahi Thi, Isliye VO Phir Se Angrej Ke Paas Gaya Aur 3rd Time Karne Ke Liye Kehta Hai. Angrez: Sorry Dude! I had only 2 Condoms. Now It's Your Turn. BTW, She is Very Hot...Enjoy!!! Bihari Behosh....

New Sex Technique

New Sex Technique

During sex, Santa suddenly stops and remains motionless. He then starts again and after some time stops to remain motionless once again. This goes on for quite some time. His wife: What the hell are you doing??? Santa: I have seen this new technique on an internet porn site... It's called 'Buffering'.

Pubic Hair Souvenir

Pubic Hair Souvenir

Ek Ladke Ne Apni Girlfriend Se Ek Gift Manga. Girlfriend Ne Usko Jhaant Ke 3-4 Baal Ukhad Ke De Diye. Ladka Wo Baal Le Kar Sunaar Ke Paas Gaya Aur Kaha: Ye Chaandi Ke Box Mein Saja Ke Do. Sunaar Ne Do Din Ka Time Diya. Do Din Baad Jab Ladka Baal Lene Aaya To Sunaar Ne Puchha: Ye Kisi Bade Sadhu-Sant-Baba Ke Baal Hai? Ladka: Ye Kisi Baba Ya Sant Ke Nahi, Meri Girlfriend Ke Jhaant Ke Baal Hai. Sunaar Ye Sunte Hi Gusse Se Paagal Hoke Bola: Bhosdi Ke, Behenchod..., Pehle Kyun Nahi Bataya, Hum Sab Ghar Walon Ne 3-3 Baar Dho Ke Piye Hai.

Some Pornban Memes

Some Pornban Memes

Jab Maggi Ban Hui Thi Toh Ladkiyon Ka Bada Mazaak Udaya Tha Ladkon Ne Ki Ab Kya Cook Karogi ? Lo Saalon, Lag Gayi Baddua, Ho Gaya Porn Ban!!!! Jat Tak Patanjali Ka Shudh Desi Porn DVD Bazaar Mein Nahin Aa Jaata Tab Tak Logon Se Aagrah Hai Ki Vo Dhairya Aur Veerya Dono Rakhein! Basically Government is against anything which gives you pleasure in 2 minutes. Pehle Maggie Ban Ho Gayi, Aur Ab Porn!!! Hey Bhagwaan, Ye Akele Rahne Wale Ladkon Ki Kaisi Pariksha Le Raha Hai Tu? Ab Yeh Afwah Kaun Faila Raha Hai Ki Ayurvedic Maggie Ke Baad Baba Ramdev Ayurvedic Porn Bhi Banayenge.... Hadd Hai Yaar! Pornban results to sudden increase in the sales of external storage devices. Interviewer: What is your name? Girl: Ima Interviewer: But online application says 'Pornima' Girl: Sir, I applied on 31st July Before the #Pornban.

Santa Da Jawab Nahin

• Santa Da Jawab Nahin

  Kal Santa Marathon Dekhne Gaya. Wahan Pados Waali Ek Bhabhi Tight Si T-Shirt Mein Khadi Thi. Usne Santa Ko Dekh Ke Puch Liya: MeraThan Dekh Rahe Ho??? Santa HAdbadate Hue Bola: Haan Ji... Ab Yaaron Santa Ki Samajh Mein Ye Nahin Aa Raha Ki Us Bhabhi Ne Santa Ki Kamini Nazron Ko Bhaanp Liya Tha Ya Uske Pronunciation Mein Gadbad Thi... Ek Baar Santa Bada Udaas Sa Baitha Tha. Banta Puchta Hai: Kya Hua Yaar Santa, Itna Udaas Kyun Baitha Hai ? Santa: Oye Kya Bataun Yaar, Meri Biwi Ko Toh Bas Bahana Chahiye Ladne Ke Liye... Banta: Oye Batayega Bhi Ki Hua Kya? Santa: Kal Bada Ho Raha Mood Tha Sex Ka. Isliye Maine Bade Pyaar Se, Dheere Dheere Uske Kapde Utare. Phir Achanak Jab Meri Nazar Uski Bra Aur Panty Pe Padi Toh Maine Sirf Yehi Pucha Ki 'Arre Tuney Apni behen Ki Bra Aur Panty Kyun Pehni Hai?' Lo Ji, Phir Kya Tha... Bhukamp Aa Gaya! Santa Apne Apni Suhaagraat Mein Patni ki Boobs Suck Karte Hua Bola: Tumhaare Boobs Kitne Naram, Garam Aur Sharbati Hain... Patni, Sharmaate Hue: Patan Nahin Ji, Jitne Munh, Utni Baatein. Ek Ladki Ke T-Shirt Pe Likha Tha: Amul - The Taste Of India. Use Dekh Kar Santa Bahut Khush Hua, Aur Apni Pant Pe Likhva Liya: Kurkure - Tedha Hai Par Mera Hai.

  Hinglish   1

• Incredibly Hilarious

  Sunny Leone Jaisa Sachcha Aur Achcha Pyar Koi Kar Hi Nahin Sakta. 50 Cameras Ki Nazar Us Pe Hoti Hai, Saara Movie Crew Bhi Hota Hai Sets Pe Lekin Uska Pura Dhyan Apne Partner Pe Hota Hai, Khul Kar Aur Tassalli Se Pyar Karti Hai. Aur Ek Hamare Yahan Ki Ladkiyan... Akele Mein, Band Kamre Mein, Yahan Tak Ki Andhere Mein Bhi Jhik Jhik Karti Rehti Hain!!! Height of Disappointment: Husband enters in a Medical Store to buy condoms on weekend and receives SMS from Wife: Ghar Aate Huye Whisper Le Aana...!!! Ek Ladki Ne Blue Film Bilkul End Tak Dekhi... Kyunki Usko Laga Ki Ladka End Mein Us Ladki Se Shaadi Kar Lega!!! Husband: Ye Kya Cooking Show Dekhti Rehti Hai, Koi Phayda Hai Iska? Khana Banana Toh Aata Nahi Tumhe?? Wife: Tum Bhi to Blue Film Dekhte Rehte Ho, Maine Kabhi Kuch Kaha? Yaar, Badi Khushi Hoti Hai Jab Meri Premika Kehti Hai Ki Jaanu, Ye Toh Bahut Bada Hai... But Tension Bhi Hoti Hai Ki Bhenchod Isne Chota Kiska Dekha Hoga!!!

Santa & Pappu Jokes

Santa & Pappu Jokes

Aunty Ne Sex Ke Baad Pappu Se Puchha: Tune Condom Kyun Nahin Lagaya??? Pappu: Aunty, Packet Pe Likha Tha - Do Not Use If The Seal is Already Broken!!! Most Embarrassing Situation: Banta was Sitting in a Car With His Wife. At the signal, a Callgirl comes to the wife's window and says: Paise Pehle Lle Llena... Chodne Ke Baad Ye Chutiya Discount Maangta Hai!! Shadi Ke Kuch Time Baad Ek Raat Sex Karte Time Jeeto Bade Se Pyar Se Boli: Aap Bilkul Mobile Jaise Ho. Santa, Bade Garv Se: Sachi, Tumhe Meri Vibration Achhi Lagti Hai? Jeeto: Nahi, Basement Mein Jaate Hi Aapka Network Fail Ho Jata Hai... Pappu: Dad What is 69 ? Santa: Hmmm... Well son, it is a position where a man and a woman pleasure each other orally at the same time. Pappu: So, What shall I write ? Odd or Even ? Shaadi Ki Raat Pappu Ko Samajh Nahin Aa Raha Tha Ki Baat Kaise Start Kare. Aadha Ghanta Beet Gaya, Kamre Mein Sannata... Thoda Khaansne Ke Baad Pappu Bola: Aapke Gharwalon Ko Pata Hai Ki Aap Aaj Raat Yahin Rukeingi???

Santa Aur Sex

Santa Aur Sex

Santa Ko Judwa Bachhe Chahiye The, Socho Usne Kya Kiya Hoga... Socho Socho Socho Socho Socho Yaar Dimag Lagao, It's Very Simple.... Abe Vo Santa Hai Uski Tarah Soch Na.... Nahi Samjh Aa Raha......... Chalo Mein Bata Deta Hun: Usne Condom Ke Ander 2 Hole Kar Diye. Kaho Santa ji Suhaag Raat Kaisi Rahi? Kuch Mat Pooocho Yaar, Pehle 5-6 Baar Toh Missed Call Lagi Aur, Jab Sahi Number Laga Toh Balance Nil Ho Gaya. Santa Apni Wife Se Sex Karne Laga To Wife Ne Usko Bola. Wife: Sunoji, Aap Is Condom Se 15v Baar Kar Rahe Ho, Ab Bas Bhi Karo. Santa: Oye Tu Pagal Ho Gayi Hai Kya, Ispe Expiry Date Toh Octobert 2015 Hai. 1st Friend: Teri BIWI Mujhe Dekhkar Hasti Kyon Hain??? Chalu Hai Kya??? 2nd Friend: Nahi Re Shadi Ki Raat Usne Pucha Kabhi Kisi Bande Ki Maari Hai??? 1st Friend: Phir, Tun Kya Kaha? 2nd Friend: Maine Tera Naam Bata Diya.... Santa Had a baby. Santa: Bilkul Mere Jaisi Aankhein CHOTI-CHOTI, Mere Jaisi Naak CHOTI SI, Merei Jaise Ungliyaan, Choti-Choto Aur Patli-Patli... Wife Baby Ka Nappy Khol Ke Boli : Yahan KAKA NUMBER Maar Gaya! Santa Ki Wife Tours & Travels Magazine Padhte Huye: Is Baar 2nd Honeymoon Ke Liye GREECE Kaisa Rahega? Santa: Kyon? Greece Kyun? TEL Mein Kya Kharabi Hai???

Pappu Jokes

Pappu Jokes

Pappu Ke Dost Golu Ne Ek Din Us Se Puchha. Golu: Yaar Ek Baat Toh Bata, Ye School Male Hota Hai Ya Female? Pappu Kuch Soch Kar Bola: Yaar Ye Tho Mujhe Khud Aaj Tak Nahi Samajh Aaya, Kyunki Ismein Ghanta Bhi Hota Hai Aur Periods Bhi. Pappu, Jab 4 Month Ka Tha Tab Santa Apni Wife Jeeto Se: Tum Pappu Ko Kya Pilati Ho? Preeto: Doodh Aur Orange Juice. Santa Ye Sun Kar Hawa Mein Uchhla Aur Biwi Se Bola: Oye, Tune Kabhi Bataya Nahi Ki Orange Juice Kis Side Se Aata Hai??? Banta: Kal Sapne Main Mujhe Koi Chaqoo Maar Raha Tha. Santa: Tu Daar Mat Yaar, Agar Sapnay Sach Hotay Toh Main Pata Nahin Kitne Bachchon Ka Baap Hota. English Teacher: Aaj Sabko 'My Best Friend' Par 10 Lines Likhni Hain. Thodi Der Baad Pappu 1 Uthkar Puchta Hai: Madam, 'Bhosdi Ke' Ko English Main Kya Kehte Hain...???? Pappu's Roomate: Yaar, Kal Exam Hai, Tum Mujhe Subah Jaldi Utha Dena. Epic Reply From Pappu: Mera Pakad Kar So ja, Ye Subah mujhse pehle Uth Jaata Hai!!!

Desi Jokes

Desi Jokes

Ek Sharabi Pharmacy Mein Ghuskar Zotr Se Bola: 5 Condom De Oye!!! Dukanwala: Sir Kuch Tameez Se Baat Kar Ke Bhi Banda Cheez Maang Sakta Hai.?? Sharabi Ne Jeans Ki Zip Kholi, Aur Bola: Mere Shehzade Ke Liye 5 Suit Dikhaayein Please !!! Biwi: Mere Paas Proof Hai Ki Tumhaara Chakkar Padosan Ke Saath Hai. Pati: Kya Proof Hai? Biwi: Uska Pati Kal Raat Tumhaari Underwear Pahan Kar Aaya Tha. Wife: Aaj Main Towel Mein thi Aur Room Mein Chachaji Aa Gaye..! Pati: Phir Tune Kya Kiya? Wife: TOWEL Ko Kholke GHUNGHAT Bana Liya...! Kuch SANSKAR Toh Mujh Mein Bhi Hain!!! Santa: Chyawanprash Khane Se Chusti Rehti Hai.. Banta: Sach Mein??? Kaun Choosti Rehti hai... Mujhe Bhi Bata Yaar... Santa: Abey BC... Chusti... Yaani Fitness. Math Teacher to Pappu: Maan Lo Tumahre Paas 6 Lollypop Hain Jismein Se 3 Chintu Ne Chus Liye, 2 Ramu Ne Aur 1 Chhotu Ne Chus Liya... Batao Ki Ab Tumhare Paas Kya Bacha? Pappu: Mere Paas Ghanta Bacha... Woh Aap Chus Lo!!!

Chashme Aur Bra

Chashme Aur Bra

Chashme Aur Bra Ka Tulnatmak Adhyan Dono Ki Banawat Ek Jaisi Hoti Hai. Shuru Mein Dono Po Pehnane Mein Dikkat Hoti Hai. Ek Ko Nazar Aane Ke Liye Aur Doosre Ko Nazar Mein Laane Ke Liye Pehna Jaata Hai. Umar Aur Prayog Ke Saath Dono Ka Number Bad Jaata Hai. Chashma Utaarne Ke Baad Aankhein Michmicha Jaati Hain Aur Bra Utaarne Ke Baad Aankhein Chaundiya Jaati Hain. Chashma Pehanne Ke Baad Aur Bra Utarne Ke Baad Uske Istemaal Ki Cheez Mool Roop Se Badi Ho Jaati Hain.

Girlfriend's Dad!!!

Girlfriend's Dad!!!

Girlfriend: Yaar Mere Dad Bhi Na, Kitna Sunate Hain... Jab Dekho Kuch Na Kuch Sunate Hee Rehte Hain... Pappu: hmmmmmn... Girlfriend: Kya hmmmm..? Pappu: Haan, Matlab Ab Kya Karein Papa Hain Na Woh...... Girlfriend: Papa Hain Toh Matlab Sunayenge Kya Bina Wajah...... Pappu: Vo To Hai... Par Kya Karein Kapa Kain Tumhaare Woh...... Girlfriend: Kya Papa, Papa Laga Rakha Hai...... Tum Kabhi Meri Side Lete Hi Nahi..... Tumhe Toh Hamesh Mein Hi Galat Lagti Hun!!! Pappu: Phir Kya Karun, Maa Chodu Kya Us Bddhe Ki..... Uski Behen Ka Bhosda...... Madharchod..... Randibaaj Kahin Ka..... Bula Bhosadiwale Ko Uski Toh Maarta Hun Aaj!!!!! Girlfriend: Shut Up You Bastard, Kya Bakwaas Kare Ja Rahe Ho??? Papa Hain Woh Mere! Pappu: Toh Bhosdiki Mein Toh Pehle Hi Bol Raha Tha Papa Hain Woh Tumhhare!

Naughty Humour

Naughty Humour

Ek Bhari Bus Mein Ek Ladki Ke Peeche Khare Ek Ladke Ka Auzaar Ladki Ko Touch Kar Raha Tha.
Ladki Ne Us Ladke Ko Zor Se Thaapad Maara Aur Kaha: Kamine, Tharki... Khud Ko Khade Hone Ki Jagah Nahin Aur Tune Isko Bhi Khada Kar Rakha Hai...

Ek Kutte Ne Gadhe Ko Sota Dekha Toh Socha Ki Kuch Masti Ho Jaaye. Usne Gadhe Ki Lena Start Kar Di.
Gadha: Kya Kar Rahe Ho???
Kutta Hanste Hue: Kuch Nahi, Mazaak Kar Ra Raha Hun.
Gadha: Agar Maine Mazaak Kiya Na Toh Bhosdi Ke Toh Aankhein Bahar Aa Jayengi!!!

70 Saal Ka Ek Budha Apne Doctor Dost Se Bola: Mein Aaj Bhi Sex Karne Mein 1 Ghanta, 40 Minutes Aur 5 Seconds Lagata Hun.
Doctor, Hairani Se: Wah, Kya Baat Hai! But Is Umar Mein Bhi??? Kaise???
Budha: 40 Minute Khada Karne Main, 5 Second Dhakka Maarne Mein Aur 1 Ghanta Sex Ke Baad Hosh Mein Aane Ke Liye.

Teacher: Tumhaare Pita Ji Ka Kya Naam Hai?
Shararti Bachcha: Ji Madan Lal Darshan Lal Chaudhary.
Teache: Yeh Toh Bahun Lamba Hai, Koi Chota Naam???
Bachcha: Ma Dar Chod!!!

Pappu, Apne Teacher Se: Sir Aisi Kaun Si Cheez Hai Jiske Phatne Ki Awaaz Nahin Aati???
Teacher, Kuch Der Sochne Ke Baad: Chup Kar, BC, Kamina... Jab Dekho Gandi-Gandi Baatein... Dirty Mind!!!
Pappu: Sir Iska Answer 'Doodh' Hai......... Vaise Aap Bhi Apni Jagah Sahi Hain!!!!

Aitraaz!!!

Aitraaz!!!

Hamare Ek Dost Ke Pados Mein Ek Nayi Ladki Rehne Aayi. Bholi Bhali Surat Dekh Kar Usne Usko Phasa Liya.

Ab Dono Ka Dates Pe Jane Ka Silsila Shuru Ho Gaya. Kaafi Time Tak Ye Chalta Raha Ek Din Ladke Ne Himmat Kar Ke Ladki Puch Hi Lya.

Ladka: Darling Hamko Aise Hi Ghumte Hue Kaafi Din Ho Gaye Hain.. Ab Hamein Kuch Aage Bhi Badna Chahiye... Kuch Karna Chahiye!

Ladki: Kya Matlab? Mein Kuch Samjhi Nahi, Saaf Saaf Bolo.

Ladka: Agar Tumhe Koi Aitraaz Na Ho To Main Tumhare Sath Sex Karna Chahta Hun.

Ladki: Ye Kaam Toh Mene Aaj Tak Kisi Ke Sath Bhi Nahi Kiya.

Ladka: Achcha, Toh Kya Tum Abhi Tak Virgin Ho?

Ladki: Nahi Mera Matlab Tha Ki Maine Aaj Tak Kisi Ko Aitraaz Nahi Jataya.

Tharki pappu

Tharki Pappu

Teacher: Condom Ko Urdu Mein Kya Kehte Hain? Sab Chup Baithe Rehte Hain. Kisi Ko Nahi Pata Tha. Pappu Apna Khurafati Dimaag Daudaata Hai Aur Haath Khada Kar Ke Bolta Hai: Master ji Mein Bataun??? Teacher: Haan Paapu, Batao. Pappu: Auzaar-E-Maza-E-Mohabbat-E-Bandish-E-Izafa-E-Nasal...! Teacher: Seekho Kuch Is Pappu Se Nalaikon... Gubbara-Gubbara Karte Rehte Ho! Pappu Apni Bike Pe Badi Speed Se Ek Ladki Ke Paas Se Guzra. Takraate-Takraate Bacha. Ladki: Marega Kya??? Pappu: Nahin, Abhi Condom Nahin Hai, Phir Kabhi... Pakka... Ek Baar Pappu Apni Girfriend Ko Ek Restaurant Mein Leke Jaata Hai. Romantic Sa Mahaul Tha... Dono Beer Aur Snacks Ke Maze Le Rahe The.... Thodi Der Baad Jab Banta Toilet Hai Toh Ek Ladki Preeto Ke Paas Aakar Dheere Se Kahti Hai: Paise Pehle Le Lena Is Haraamkhor Se... Ye Tharki Sex Karne Ke Baad Lafda Karta Hai... Puri Payment Nahin Karta!!! Hot Girl in Hot Voice: Batao Mere Underwear Mein Kya Hai??? Batao?? Batao Na? Pappu: Elastic Hi Hoga... Aajkal Naade Waali Kaun Pehenta Hai? Ladki, Gusse Se: Tere Se Kuch Nahin Hoga... Saale Tu Single Hi Marega...

Naughty Bits!

Naughty Bits!

Teacher: What is the URDU word for a TOPLESS WOMAN Showing her BREAST..? Pappu: KHUL - E - AAM..!! Principal: Apne Bachhe Ko Jara Tameez Sikhao Aap! Parent: Kya Hua Sir? Principal: Application Form Ke SEX Wale Column Me Likha Hai: 'Kabhi Moka Hi Nahi Mila!' Lover: Darling Tum Panties Kyon Nahi Pahenti? Lady: Maine Apne Husband Ko VACHAN De Rakha Hai Ki Un Ke Ilawa Mein Kisi Ke Bhi Saamne Chaddi Nahi Utaarungi. Girl: Ek Packet Condom Dena. Dukandar: Kaun Si Company Ka Dun Behan ji??? Girl: Achche Waala Dena, Jis Se Teri Behan Ki Izzat Bhi Bani Rahe, Tu Mama Bhi Na Bane Aur Maza Bhi Pura Aaye... Do Sisters Thi. Badi Waali Ka Pati Chota Tha Aur Choti Waali Ka Pati Bada Tha. Bai Waali Taras-Taras Ke Mar Gayi Aur Choti Waali Tadap-Tadap Ke...